1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man,
after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
2.There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much
that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is
going thru hell.
3.A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : " Wife wanted".
Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing "You can have mine."
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be
sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him
drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are
on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said,
"If you don't promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will
kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't
keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."
7. "What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble
with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak
to me for 30 days." But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but
today is the last day."
8."Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. "
I'm very sick, would you please call me a vet?". "A vet? Why do you
want a vet and not a medical doctor?" The husband replied. Because I
work like a horse,live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly