A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred
to a new School in Mumbai.
He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the
practice in the school, was asked to address the school assembly on
Here's his dynamite speech :
Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first
maiden speech. If small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon.
Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for
the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper
reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give
ticket. I put complaint on stationmaster. He said me to go to lady
clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time
and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son.
Anyway I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for
getting birth of my son.
We got independent because of great leadersz linke Gundhiji who get-outted
all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth rate
and we shall halve it.
Today we all have our birth-rate.You children are future dynamic
generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside
looking, or looking at your behind.
Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like
Loosebelt, Dim Butter, Lipton etc. You know genius, no? It is one
per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation.
They became great by reading great books. After we finish you off
here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A.,
M.A.M.A and other decrease.
Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered
accountants, or lecherers in college.
The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, classroom is the
soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your
heads and one-day you all will become great phools.
Many vacancy job come in papers. Only yesterday I saw in paper
"Wanted for refuted engineering firm: - Generators, highpower
condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but
you can shine.
If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.
I am now ending this fastly.
My God blast you!
Thank you and thank God!